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Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Chelsea Handler 4-16-14

Apr 16, 2014|

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Transcript - will not be 100% accurate

I headlines brought to you by eighteen -- to cover more than 99% of all Americans rethink possible am by precision fitness equipment shopper the pros do. Precision fitness. The equipment yet Steve I screwed up. I -- the -- -- apology go ahead a poster mentioned something I didn't do it please get -- -- a hat and everything. You know why I'm where in the at the teacher at. No well of course it's where one police department. The -- understand that stop -- -- -- five in a fifty mile hours. Your yap at him during the break what I think in Florida and pro stock and if they outlawed it. What town police supervisors association. There having a five K road race that would be -- and start. April 19. Race starts and finishes at tufts health plan -- a five mile Auburn street you can register online. To get -- where you. It's called -- -- strong. Dot race wire dot com. -- starts and finishes at the -- helpless settled a five mile Auburn street commemorate the one year anniversary of the events led to the capture the Boston Marathon bombing suspects. By inviting the community to fill the streets of Watertown. Any celebratory five K road race and walk. -- -- should have done that when he was here -- talents is worse climbers is how he's going to die. Getting hit by some chick -- do I make up and texting right this. Close enough texting motorist. Who slammed into a bicycles and injured his spot who now told police she has some regrets. About dancer car. Accord to police for a phone records 21 year old Kimberly Davis was texting with seven different phone numbers as she drove the vehicle drove her vehicle. And a small town in Western Australia. Local police that she used -- phone behind the wheel 74. Times during the trip. Around 7:20 PM she struck a bicycles from behind apparently failing to see the warning lights he -- for the bike. In the back of the bike although she called members you responders the cyclists that you refused to render assistance and left him lying on the side of the route. I want -- she should do more time in the table on whatever cable Wilson will suddenly they've almost as its cable they've had this well got the Memphis he he should go prologue that she should go away longer and it's yours you should be twenty years in this bicycles have paralyzed well according to the standards the paper and and Victoria. She had some choice statements responding police quote I just don't care because I've already been through a lot of bowl we. In my car is like pretty expense and like I now have to fix it really works by many a kind of pissed off that the psychosis at the side of my car. I don't agree that people texting and driving. Could hit a cyclist I wasn't on my phone when this Lucius which was an honor Folgers -- What's on your vote. Waived its its sort of like your defense in an electric in the back support she's moving she's moving the ball. Prosecutors on her phone she gives us a little upset with the cyclists for -- to your card I'm kind of pissed at the psychosis that the size are our audited he did at the side are unhurt and appoint the two girls in the commercial. And now in the -- in the backseat yeah I want her and a so I don't roll over what do you learn more or less of -- percent ones but it they finer than the sensor which with a fine my sentence would be you're in jail until the bicycles gets up and walks as a player he sees. Suffered a spinal fracture requiring surgery in the use of the spinal hate. Which -- not helpless spinal cage dive now and an -- for pumping but that's not something you want. On your body the 54500. Dollars well jail time. Six months. A year not a good -- nine months. 4500 dollars and I'm not I'm telling -- this is. This is going to be it's an -- Dem reaction is there anything drive and every ailment via Iran is an epidemic there are. Half the drivers on the highway are text and -- And and and our lives -- -- story we did Booth policy for five months ago I -- -- a hundred miles an hour texting yes and it's safer than these people were texting as good customer stories and be there for five months ago which -- -- speeding tickets -- -- and tickets at a record 101. We think it is right now I don't know look it up you think it's changed. All adequate. Not nuggets pulled protects us that it's hard to enforce how do you do you driver -- possibly some pop in the hoosiers beat. You we've okay all right in the U over the he careful and picture that they should. Sometimes you think people while the ticket and they should be I'd probably they are. A couple -- -- texting. Or Austin down a couple. It's the best you should be able to push to get the records phone company to you know he kills someone. They configure. In the text and yes well all right so we have. Steven Kolb air signal for Letterman at 1135. So at 1235 slot is going to be as he still believes that name because as a basis for character is not gonna change his Peewee Herman is ball -- right he changes. Opening the -- the real guy they Stephen Kobe is the -- What's the real guys -- -- So -- stolen -- different name testing -- -- -- higher at a hole. Yeah that attitude is good and that's the the Democrats -- named Colbert of the Colbert funny that's that you deal a pop changed. -- -- Craig Ferguson was at 1235 still is sound like he's gonna leave his job receipt of the trapped by their first ever secret for you. Seeing clips and over here and watch the show. And it is an accent he doesn't trees from a Brooke thank believers -- trying to find a guy they go for a person typical for him. First personally went to Chelsea handler she said Chelsea handler world with that and and that is that two and a half three million dollars a year and -- 1235 showed its point three yen again obvious choice for this Mikey and the obvious to them before reliable. -- I have to come here and tolerate this nonsense. At that -- -- -- to take about 67 and I mean. Could make it 615. The public that one in the public -- rebuke. -- package it a watch that there's never seen this -- -- -- you don't show up five minutes forced him escapee to -- aegis wing we. Some things don't change. Which Aussie Amazon she said she has no interest in doing -- she -- Libya. Bogged down by. Network rules. Lleyton you know via -- her you know some guys can write to me crap amok and take that he's crazy so better among lesbian meaningless -- -- pay attention for sixty seconds. Voice how she's seen yeah. 38 -- -- mid thirties she's she's an early look at the did terrible energy are. Others in recent study you know I'm just -- well may be more -- Then men now are starting become more depressed when he hit the -- seventy. That is a milestone I didn't you did a couple. Happy for six years and remember it. -- slightly -- today six -- the cut outraged at this point this is I don't disagree ethnic guys that image they're comfortable with the lives and their you know there. Settling into well you'll -- I guarantee you there's a direct correlation between seventy and stuff not working anymore in excel that there arthritis in your quality of life goes down weekend golf week yet. I'm 170 year old -- worry about it careful now you know that generally -- close look like stuff like that I look at I've -- about maybe you guys can I feel like seventies are the last real -- we could do stuff. What you get to eighty I feel like you're sort of limited. Limited solely to play golf. You can run a little you can do stuff you can go on vacation to maturity cappuccino who turned 62 today a deal. Yeah I think against the Bill Belichick optics to take it to make an exorbitant it to -- through a Bill Belichick. In general life gets better as you age in the sense that older adults on average fewer hassles. In response them better and younger adults and they also experts more uplift doctor says he does that at least until their mid seventies want to turn seventy. How you react to these hassles change may be dependent on your resources. Or your situation in life to Christians are believers. Faith based people there are much more content than than people who seem like you then. And he -- like you the other thing when you turn seventy you want to go watch field hockey. Racquets. Excellent you have to go PTA meetings how's that. That's regret that. And go. Like I -- PPE -- Are teachers and a parent teacher conference right now I think what -- -- -- grandkids. The -- -- know. You walk and Toyota feel are open I will not go to feel I'm not it is -- -- -- -- curling rhythmic gymnast. -- -- -- it's irrelevant it's like who cares what it's like you're great to feel good about what crickets pop up poppy poppy poppy poppy. They do it and trust our direct. -- -- -- ten point that I haven't zone swearing rambling. He couldn't agree if you rickets a good field. Go to -- as a matter please feel puck you won't -- again. How much. Good public soccer and swimming and I'll go to plays -- go to concerts recitals I'm not doing. Its sport ever invented. The waste time you were pictured. No doubt that. Not all I would go to any sport and looked at my daughter did the water -- wants to mr. Klein that's really anyone else there that -- And watched. -- which can dump them all under Louis it was boring but that's the -- work. All she -- care butch is here click. The scoring swimmer on and talked to was likely played sports. Don't keep score score here what's going on. I wanted to stay on the tie in this thing here earlier at the the chess club one -- and I went once that that was rather do that then you get. Were you watching via I tsetse -- guy just walked in and watch she's UN. She'd let the boys which sentiment meant so much more of them it's like it's probably true I guess it's just -- -- idiots. Voice our rates on -- headlines brought to you by AT&T.

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